


Lonely in a sea of stars

by xCloudy_1412



Series: Until Winter Comes [1]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: 1920's, Alternate Universe — AU, Established Relationship, F/M, I took an entire music book and ate it, Long Distance-ish, Lots of Old Timey Songs, M/M, Pianist!Kaito, Pining, Soldier!Shinichi, War times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xCloudy_1412/pseuds/xCloudy_1412
Summary: Kaito mused to himself as the flowers blossomed that maybe, Shinichi was somewhere out there sneezing at the pollen and he'd let the fondness of the thought guide his fingers through the piano keys.





	Lonely in a sea of stars

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, one night Fumi (@GAKU88EVER) thought it would be a good idea if we gave each other a word/phrase and we'll work on a fic with that word/phrase and she gave me "Until Winter Comes" (haha) and here we are! 
> 
> The title is from the song "Ruse and the Caper" by Coyote Theory, they have lovely songs! <3 
> 
> I have the usual warnings sexual jokes, grammatical errors, pining, language and the like but if you're okay with all those things then read on! If you'd like to immerse yourself in the fic then I suggest listening to this [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVMKieLe8mJN6jX3lRMqtVrCRjSuE8HLj) I whipped up featuring all the compositions in this fic! 
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~(another round of hurting Kaito COUGH)~~

Spring comes with a fresh breeze and a gentle caress.

Flowers were at full bloom and everything starts anew, the perfect time to hold a recital for the general public to enjoy. 

The grand hall was, in the simplest terms, _grand_. Balcony seats were filled with important guests, complete with shiny gold encrusted binoculars and the general seats were filled with the general public mixed in with a few undercover reporters. Quite a crowd, quite a sight. 

Kaito sat in front of a large ebony piano, playing _Beethoven's Sonata 1_. The piece was upbeat, never failing to rile the musician up. The choppy yet smooth sound that he omitted by pressing every key to the song soothe the dull loneliness the pianist felt at the absence of an accompanist violin.

Transitioning to the next piece ( _Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody N.2_ ), beads of sweat trickled down the musician's temple, the suit he wore made him feel like an overgrown peacock, stuffy and suffocating. He preferred performing in simple slacks and a button down shirt than whatever you call what he was currently wearing, it was horrible I mean who wears waistcoats nowadays? Well, maybe 40% of the country still do ( ~~stuck up pricks~~ ) but Kaito liked to think that he was part of the common 60% who didn't need or want to dress up like a peacock.

 _Mozart's Alla Turca_ was next, by now Kaito's fingers ached from the amount of exertion he's been using but the familiar movements of his hands momentarily detached him from the world ( ~~from _him_~~ ) and Kaito would rather have his fingers die from exhaustion than stop playing. _Alla Turca_ was one of the upbeat and fast pieces. The type of music Kaito would listen to or even play when he gets overly excited, not to mention he enjoys how his husband taps his foot to the melody of the song while feigning indifference, it was cute, very much so.

Hmm? Oh yes, he had a husband.

A darling, sweet and perfect husband who went by the name Shinichi Kudo. 

_The Emperor's Hymn by Haydn_ was next, the somber tones sobering up Kaito's exhilarating thoughts, giving his fingers a short respire after a medley of hard songs (goddamn Liszt, you sadist).

Yes, he had a husband. A perfect, kind and loving husband. _**Had**_

He had one until a few years ago when a war broke out, where the government forcibly mandated that at least 80% of the country's males were to serve under the army, by that time Kaito was already settled in with his husband and neither of them wanted to take part in war. 

Shinichi, his darling had marched up to the state county and _demanded_ that Kaito would be treated as a 'Wife Entity', meaning that the musician should be treated as a 'girl' therefore unqualified for war, as insulting as it was. The county approved it and Kaito was spared from military boot camp but his husband, in exchange for letting Kaito run free from the government's orders, had to leave for war. 

The night Shinichi left was the night Kaito cried the hardest, even more than when his father died in a flaming music hall. 

_Chopin's Tristesse_ was last, further dampening the musician's mood as the simple and easy notes failed to distract him from his thoughts. _Was Shinichi eating properly? It's been 2 years, 5 months and 13 days since he last saw him. Was he alright? Was he sleeping well? Was he still alive—_

The last notes were pressed hard and rough, as the pianist's hand shook with anxiousness. It's been 2 years and a half since he saw his husband and ( _he missed him_ ) he didn't even know if he was alive. 

The last notes played were met with thunderous applause, a standing ovation and inappropriate whistling from the general public. The ones on the upper balcony sniffed with disdain as they begrudgingly slow clapped because dammit, if Kaito didn't have talent then why would he be playing in one of Britain's grandest halls?

He took a long graceful bow to the crowd, messy brown locks nestling just before his eyes casting a shadow over distressed indigo hues. This won't do, he couldn't slip into a state of distress in front of a large crowd, crying and distressing over his gone husband was supposed to be left inside the premise of his private room, or on day-offs with his manager, Aoko. 

Not now, not in public because if he thought about Shinichi for more than a second, he'd end up crying his heart out.

So he pushed the thoughts of the azure eyed male to the deepest parts of his brain where he stored memories of his father and fish at and reveled himself in the sea of flashing lights and applause.

☆

After parties were always a mixed crowd.

Kaito mused as he twirled a glass glimmering with champagne as reporters and guests flocked around. The pianist pasted a polite smile on his face as he excused himself to get his gloves ( ~~which he on purposely forgot so that he had an excuse to leave the crowd~~ ) and left the ballroom to retrieve his gloves that sat by the grand piano he played earlier. 

For a moment he was alone, no flashing lights of cameras, no whispering elitists, no thunderous applause, just a man and a piano. And that was when Kaito felt the most authentic, that was until a group of ladies dressed in the tightest corsets he's ever seen came running and gushing at him.

"Mister Kaito~!!" Half-drawled, half purred. First name basis, reluctance to use his last name 'Kudo', socialites and obviously about to do a proposition.

"Your earlier performance was grand! I found myself drowning in the melodies," The first girl cooed out, voice laden with sickly sweet honey.

"You must be tired after such a performance, why not join us in some relaxation?" The second one purred out, batting fake eyelashes at the pianist. 

"You must be rather lonely, with Kudo Shinichi deployed and probably chasing after some other girl." Okay, that was it. No one had the right to take his husband's name in vain and get away with it.

"Ladies," Kaito started, applauding himself for keeping a straight face, "I am flattered by your words but I am a taken man, my heart belongs to only one person and surely you can't satisfy what I need," 

"What do you need, Mister Kaito?" The three girls chorused, creeping closer to the pianist. 

"I want a dick shoved up my ass, pounding me till Sunday night." 

Kaito allowed a smirk to graze his features at the scandalized looks the girls gave him as he left the venue.

☆

The 1920's wasn't exactly the time or era to be an openly homosexual couple like Kaito and Shinichi,

Their wedding (It was an sunny outdoor wedding at a grand gazebo surrounded with an array of flowers with a twelve piece orchestra playing for them and God Kaito fell even more in love with Shinichi when he saw him waiting at the make shift grand altar, coincidentally it was also the day he became the sort of adopted son of Nakamori Ginzo) was crashed by nit picky reporters who disdainfully well, nit picked everything about it but Kaito was able to shut them up when they asked what they planned to do that evening. ( _What do you think we'll do? I bought the slickest bottle of lube as a house warming gift for Shinichi?_ ) 

Back when they were just dating, they rarely went on dates and preferred keeping their romantic endeavors behind closed doors due to the gossiping public and the jealous stares they got from females. Like they can't believe that two of the hottest men in the country were taken, _by each other_.

In short, their relationship was far from steady. They had bumps and cock blocks (lots of them) that prevented them from living peacefully but they pulled through, together. But now, Kaito was alone. He didn't have his other half with him and the gossips and snide side commentary were slowly getting under his skin and Kaito swore, one more undertone that suggests that Kaito was wasting his time waiting on a man who could be dead, the pianist would hurl an entire grand piano at them and won't even be the slightest bit sorry. 

Why was everyone so keen on thinking that Shinichi was with another man? The night he left, Kaito remembered clearly, he had proclaimed his love in so many ways that Kaito could never match up to and the pianist knew that nothing could ever come in between them, right?

Now here he was, writing his 142nd letter to his husband. A year and a half ago, the government had banned their soldiers from replying back to the letters because they didn't want to shoulder the mailing fees and deemed replying as a 'distraction' for the soldiers and so, people may send letters to the army but the army was never allowed to reply. 

It was like talking to a dead person, but Kaito made sure to always make his letters happy because he knew that somewhere out there, Shinichi was giving his life for the country and most probably moping because of how little he could do and Kaito had to make sure that he had a little fix-me-up, the musician could only hope that his letters were at least enabling his husband to smile a little. 

The thought of a happy Shinichi somewhere out there made two polar opposite feelings bloom in the pianist's chest.

Fondness and aching need.

☆

Whenever Kaito falls into a slump, he always goes out for a walk around the town. Occasionally he invites Aoko and sometimes even Hakuba, today was one of those occasions as the trio walked into a music shop bickering in a three way debate of which dessert was the best. Obviously it was chocolate, no room for arguments thank you very much Mr. And Mrs. Hakuba.

The shop owner looked star struck when his gaze landed on Kaito's figure, gaping like a finny thing to which Kaito winced.

"H-How may I help you?!" The shop owner squealed out, immediately rounding the counter and stopping in front of the pianist to bow and compliment him profusely. "Relax," Kaito said with a light chuckle, placing a hand on the owner's shoulder (he swore the old man almost fainted), "I'm here to get a violin tuned and fixed up," The pianist stated, holding up a slightly dusty leather violin case.

"Of course! I'll have it done in an hour for you, Mister Kaito!" The shop owner exclaimed with a frantic nod, Kaito reluctantly gave the case to him fearing that he might drop the violin case from how much his hands were shaking. "Must be nice to be a super star," Saguru snickered out in his full deerstalker glory, "Shut up," Kaito sullenly bit back as the shop owner disappeared into a back room to fix the violin.

The door opened a few minutes later but instead of the shop owner, a little girl came running out. Holding a miniature viola in hand and a bow on the other, she didn't seem to be looking where she was going as she bumped into Kaito's leg and fell onto her bum with a small 'Oof!' 

"Are you alright, dear?" Kaito asked, ignoring the over exaggerated eye rolls of his friends as he bent down to hold a hand out for the girl, "Yes! I'm sorry I bumped into you, I was going to go play my viola in the town square today~." The little girl chirped out, standing onto her feet by herself causing Aoko and Saguru to once again snicker. "I see~." Kaito replied with a small smile, standing up to his full height whilst pointedly ignoring Aoko and Hakuba. "Is the violin that grandpa's fixing your's, mister?" The girl asked, peering curiously at Kaito then it hit him, she didn't know who he was.

A mischievous grin planted itself on Kaito's face as Aoko and Hakuba's faces paled drastically, "Oh yes, it is." Kaito hummed in agreement, placing a hand on his chin in a thoughtful way, "But I have forgotten how to play it, I only know how to play the piano so maybe you can help me remember, dear." The pianist slunk closer to a piano on display with a sly grin as the little girl's eyes lit up with interest, "Sure! I'll help you remember~!" She chirped out, readying her viola. 

"Then, I'll play the piano for you and you'll play the viola then maybe I'll remember!" Kaito cheered out, taking a seat on the piano and making a show as he wiped his fingers clean of oil and sweat. "Here I go~!!" The pianist sang out as he began to play a small happy tune, _The Entertainer by S. Joplin_ , always the happy and not to mention funny tune. 

Soon the entire shop was filled with the combined sound of the piano and viola, Saguru regrettably opened the doorways of the shop to let the music flow out because he knew just how big of a diva Kaito was. People started to come in and then the shop was filled with people, clapping to the beat of the music, the little girl seemed to be enjoying herself too albeit making mistakes here and there. The performance was lively and fun and Kaito wouldn't have it any other way.

30 minutes later of playing, Kaito took a bow just as soon as the shop owner came out of the room with his violin case. The pianist could only smile at the dumbfounded expression of the owner when he found the little girl, 'Ayumi' he noted as the shop owner shrilly cried out, who was sitting on his lap playing with Kaito's gloves. 

"Ayumi!" The shop owner cried out, exasperated and horrified. "Get off that man's lap, don't you know who he is?' He hissed out, grabbing Ayumi who protested but ended up just pouting by the old man's side. "I don't mind, she kept us company while we waited~." Kaito said with an easy smile, gesturing towards the violin case that the shop owner immediately gave, "That's wonderful to hear!' He exclaimed while handing over the case.

"I hope you remembered how to play the violin, mister!" Ayumi called out as she joined her friends, Kaito nodded and waved goodbye, "Of course I would, I have the most wonderful accompanist with me after all!" He answered with a light laugh.

Later on as they ate dinner at some random Italian resto, Kaito gave Aoko a small smile as she shot him a knowing look. "You could have just asked us to clean up the violin rather than coming with us if it made you uncomfortable." Aoko quipped as she sliced her butter and garlic fish fillet, "What ever could you be talking about?" Kaito wondered out with a raise of an eyebrow, Aoko shrugged and simply held up her fish fillet for him to see. 

"I fucking hate you," Kaito gasped with horror as his appetite disappeared, Saguru was promptly forgotten as the two bickered back and forth for the rest of the night. 

He would never tell Aoko that the mere thought of Shinichi pained him to the point where he had to physically distract himself from breaking out into tears.

☆

Autumn passed by silently, the auburn leaves littered the town and still the war raged on,

_'Breaking News! Britain's main headquarters have just been attacked by enemy forces, casualty number is currently unknown but the base has suffered tremendous damage and the government estimates that less than a hundred men would survive—"_

Turning the radio off, Kaito sank down onto the couch, letting his face be cradled by his hands. He prayed to God, to every other god out there that Shinichi was deployed anywhere else besides the headquarters, he prayed that the man was sent on a scouting mission in a fairly peaceful location, he prayed that Shinichi lived. 

He stayed like that for what seemed like an hour before he stood up and shakily made his way to the music room of his house, practically collapsing into his seat when he got close. 

He couldn't think, he _shouldn't_ think or else he might end up bawling like a baby and he had a recital tomorrow, he couldn't afford to cry. Surely, Shinichi wouldn't want him to cry either. 

Fingers glided over white and black keys, letting his muscles guide them. He began to play a soft song, unable to play any faster due to how much he was shaking. _Schumann's Träumerei_ , every emotion Kaito felt was reflected into the song. A few tears escaped the pianist's eye every now and then as he attempted to clear his mind of negative thoughts.

The piece was painfully quick, ending far too soon for Kaito's liking as he found himself draping over the piano, ignoring the disconcerted noises of the piano keys as he pressed himself onto it. Letting out soft, choked sobs Kaito could only wish for one thing.

_'Please be safe.'_

☆

Winter was always a cold season, but without his husband's warmth beside him, every snowflake that fell on the pianist's figure grew increasingly colder than the last one.

Winter was supposedly a happy season, with families all cozier up by the fireplace and the sudden rage of the event called 'Christmas' was heavily anticipated. Kaito was having none of that as he went on living through his days in a dazed motion, everything was just so lonely and he wasn't grounded enough to feel true happiness.

Aoko and Hakuba had gifted him a deerstalker and magnifying glass in an attempt to cheer him up but it only worsened the pain he felt. 

Dead leaves crunched under Kaito's booted feet as he made his way to a practice hall, a simple building with white walls and big windows. It was his favorite place to go to whenever he wanted to have some alone-time, away from crowds, from people and just generally the world.

The only person who inhabited the practice hall was a nice old man named Jii, a friend of his late father and he always made sure to keep the grand piano situated in room 4869 in good condition because it was Kaito's favorite.

Giving the old man a short greetings, Kaito made his way to the piano. Room 4869 held many memories for the pianist, namely memories with Shinichi as they always spent their free time playing together, piano and violin. Kaito always found himself reminiscing about said times whenever he entered the familiar empty white room with only a piano and a mirrored wall inside.

He gingerly sat down in front of the piano, gloved hand caressing the black cover of the piano. The pianist allowed himself a few moments of silence before he took off his gloves and pulled the cover up. 

He began playing, one of his all time favorites, the one that held a rather special place in his heart. The _La Campanella_ was, no _is_ the married couple's favorite piece that they loved to bicker about as one side took Liszt while the other one took Paganini, those memories were what kept Kaito going all throughout the 3 years without his beloved. 

As difficult as the piece was, Kaito made sure to perfect it, knowing that Shinichi loved his rendition of the piece. Momentarily, Kaito felt grounded as if he wasn't just some soulless ghost wandering around without a motive in sight. The familiar sound of the piano, and the echoes of memories played through Kaito's head and soon he finished the song with fingers red and clammy from the exertion.

And he was alone once again, Kaito let out a soft sigh as he leaned forward against piano, chasing after the warmth that the music offered him. It was gone as fast as it came and the pianist was left frost bitten and lonely. Until—

_"Did you know that Liszt took La Campanella from Paganini's Violin Concerto in B Minor, it's almost plagiarism except that La Campanella is better played on the piano and by a pianist such as yourself."_

Kaito didn't need to see who talked, he just had to feel. 

He found himself lunging back, tipping over the stool in the process, and throwing himself at the source of the mellow voice, 

He couldn't speak, he didn't speak. His throat was closed up and tears refrained him from speaking as the familiar scent of lavender enveloped his figure as arms — _arm_ — wrapped itself around his waist. 

"Welcome home," Kaito whispered out almost brokenly, clutching on tighter as he felt the arm that was previously on his waist travel upward to entwine his fingers into Kaito's messy hair and pulling him up for a deep, warming kiss.

_**"Welcome home, Shinichi."** _

**Author's Note:**

> If the words 'pianist' and 'piano' aren't stuck in your head after this fic then I have failed my objective.
> 
> And that's it for this fic! I really got to stop torturing Kaito like this but I'm a sadist so this might continue?? In other news, you can actually pinpoint where I gave up on comedy. XDD
> 
> I'll probably write Shinichi's side to this AU some time later, would you guys like that? I think Shinichi deserves a spotlight in this story too. 
> 
> Leave a Kudo (Kaito needs one) on your way if you liked it and maybe a review/creative criticism? Thanks!
> 
> Till the next fic! See you~!!


End file.
